Irma's Story

When I wrote the blog series about my second trip to Honduras to visit two of my sponsor children this past May, there were some stories left untold.  Not because they weren't amazing, but because telling just the stories of my own girls took up a nine-part series in itself.  Naturally, I had to leave out some of the stories of the other children we worked with during the week.  One of those stories was Irma.

 
I met Irma during my last day in Honduras.  My 15 year old sponsor child, Melania, arrived at the center that morning with several relatives.  Irma was introduced to me as Melania's cousin.  She was twelve years old at the time.  I spent some time talking to the family as we sat on a bench at the back of the center.

As the day went on, I was occupied with many children.  I was meeting my own girls, delivering gifts to children who were sponsored by friends of mine, preparing for Melania's quinceanera party, etc.  For much of my day at the center, Irma quietly followed behind me.  She would look at me and smile, occasionally grabbing my hand or wrapping her arm around me as we walked.  At one point, when she finally had me alone for a moment, she whispered something to me- "Do you know Michelle?".  Without any further explanation, I knew she was asking about her sponsor.  In these children's minds, if you are from the United States, you must know their sponsor who lives there.  Obviously, I didn't.  Irma had seen so many other children receiving love from their sponsors that day.  She wanted to know she wasn't forgotten.  I soon learned that Irma had been sponsored for over 3 years, yet had never received a letter from her sponsor.

I told Irma that while I did not know her sponsor, I would be glad to take a picture of her and have the sponsorship organization forward it to her, along with a letter saying how much she would love to hear from her.  She jumped at this opportunity.

 

I stuck with Irma throughout the rest of my time at the project and gave her the only extra gift I had with me- a simple drawstring bracelet with a cross charm on it.  After that, her demeanor changed.  As her friends arrived that day, she went over to them with excitement, pointed to me, and said, "She is going to send pictures to my sponsor!"  I spent some of the day with Irma as we played with the other children, watched soccer tournaments, had lunch, and made pipe-cleaner jewelry together. 

Since returning home from Honduras, I had the organization forward letters and pictures on to Irma's sponsor, and called several times to see if she was receiving letters yet.  Each time, the answer was no.  Eventually, I asked if there was any chance that Irma could have a correspondence sponsor.  There is a correspondence program for sponsors who want to support a child financially but not write letters, so they can assign someone else to write to the child.  I was told unfortunately, they could only give Irma a correspondence sponsor if her financial sponsor requested it.  After this, I kind of let it go and "gave up" for the time being.  I still prayed it could happen in the future, but I had made peace with the fact that there was no way for it to happen right now.  I tried to convince myself that maybe it was for the best if I just invested in the girls I already had.

Still, when I was having alone time with God a few days ago and making a list of everything I was praying for, Irma was at the top of that list.  When I read the passage in the bible about the shepherd who left is 99 sheep to go look for the lost one, I felt God speak- you're not giving up on Irma.  So imagine my joy when just a few days later, I got a phone call from the sponsorship organization.  It was the woman who I had last talked to about Irma.

"I had talked to you a while back about your sponsor child's cousin, Irma.  Today, I have the best possible news..."

Best possible news?  I thought I had already been given the news, that I couldn't have her.

"After talking to you," she continued, "I saw your heart for this girl, and I fought to make it happen.  Today, we have gotten permission from Irma's sponsor to make you her official correspondent sponsor."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  All I could do was thank God.  His work here was so apparent.  Just days after adding her to my prayer list, I got a call out of absolutely nowhere, delivering the "best possible news"!  In the days immediately before and after this phone call, the enemy had been at work in my life in ways that required every ounce of my faith to believe that God would answer my prayers.  Unknowingly, this sponsorship rep poured into me and delivered assurance that He definitely would. 

If they had given Irma to me when I had originally called and asked, that would have been so me.  I would have gotten what I wanted, and gotten to shower her with love.  That would have been a great story and all.... but, the fact that it happened this way was so God.  After deciding that maybe things had worked out for the best and I wasn't meant to sponsor Irma, He made it happen without even really giving me a choice.  Irma had already been added to my account by the time I received the call. It was just SO GOD!

If I'm being honest, I'm in a season right now where, for reasons I will write about in the future, I need to fight for my peace with everything in me.  God has shown me every step I need to take, and I am winning.  Still, I often need reminders that God is answering me when I call.  Now, every time I think of Irma, I remember His goodness.

Mint Green Nails and Combat Boots

I recently came across this reminder of unconditional, undeserved love.  Gifts that I'd done nothing to deserve.  Failure resulting in only more blessings.  Running from God's words, and yet being lured back in with beautiful gifts- reminders of His faithfulness.  The following post was written, and then never published, late last year.  I wrote the words on my heart as I was sitting in my bedroom one night, admiring a bottle of mint green nail polish and a pair of studded black combat boots; knowing that God had done something so much bigger than updating my wardrobe.  He has spent months teaching me that transformation starts with the heart.  Now I knew.  This is what John meant in the bible when He wrote, "For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome." (1 John 5:3)  Obeying God's Word is good and necessary.  However, obeying out of half-hearted guilt and obligation does not equal loving God.  Loving God is having such passion for Him in your heart, and realizing how much He has blessed you, that you can't help but adore and obey Him.  That is exactly what He did here.

God has spent most of my Christian life, especially the past two years since He led me to sponsor multiple children on a very unpredictable income, to use my resources selflessly and to the fullest.  He always manages to stretch my budget in the craziest ways to make room for more ministry.  Since He has been showing me to seek more of His kingdom rather than things on Earth, the things that were once so important to me just don't really matter any more.   I stopped buying pretty much anything I didn't need.  I stopped the majority of my "just because" Starbucks runs and started buying most things on clearance.  This is not a guilt trip.  It's not that I think buying something you don't need is always a bad thing.  I know that God sometimes, out of love for someone, will bless them with something extra for themselves.  It's just that I know that lavish things will not last.  I want to use every second and every penny for an eternal purpose.  I was not about to waste it.

So, recently, when I wanted some mint green nail polish, I could not bring myself to buy it.  After spending time in countries where parents can barely afford rice for their children, how could I say I was living God's calling to the fullest if I spent the little that has been entrusted to me to make my nails a different color (such a random concept if you think about it)?  In a quick little no-big-deal prayer, I told God that if He chose to give me an extra little blessing by providing it for free, I would absolutely accept and give Him all of the glory for it.  I didn't think much about it afterwards.  It was kind of a silly prayer that, if we're being honest, I didn't expect to be granted.  That is, until one day, when I came home to a random package from my mom, saying she was out shopping and thought of me.  Inside the bag was not only a bottle of mint green nail polish, but also a pair of black combat boots....something I had also been secretly admiring, but really didn't need!

Back when this story took place, although I loved, sought after, and served God to some extent every day, I was not fully in a place of being focused or obedient.  I had been feeling distant and only partly dwelling on His love for me.  Yet, because I had been saved and am His child, rather than anger and punishment, He lures my heart with gifts- reminders of His love.  Reminders that He sees me and hears my prayers.  1 John 5:3 is so true....loving God is keeping His commandments....but keeping them out of gratefulness.  He filled my heart with such joy.  I have every reason to worship Him in thanks.

Almost a year later, I still wear these boots in awe of His love for me.

What Now?

It is September in Western Pennsylvania.  The leaves are just beginning to change colors.  The air is crisp and cold in the mornings, with warm weather still during the days.  Pumpkin flavored everything has crept its way into my diet.  Bella and I drive down a back country road, windows down, admiring the fall scenery as we listen to worship music.  Despite the fact that fall has only begun this week, we are headed an hour away from home, to a little shop in Pittsburgh, where we hear there are tons of pretty, girly things to buy Estefani for Christmas.  It may only be September, but mail is slow, and we need to start planning now if we want our girls to receive their gifts on time.

A song comes on the radio, and those words ring in my ears- I'm no orphan any more.  And I can't hold it in...tears stream down my face.  "Estefani?", Bella asks.  "Estefani", I confirm, chuckling at how common this has become.  It has been almost a daily occurrence over the past few months for one of us to break down over something that reminds us of our girl; a song, a photograph, a Disney princess backpack at the mall....

Our hearts are longing.  I miss my girls.  I miss that world of relentless love.  I want to be in that place where my heart is constantly aligned with His. 

As I think of all God has done here, I realize this was never my plan.  These girls were never my plan.  Guatemala was never my plan.  That village tucked away in the mountains of western Honduras was certainly never my plan.  When God started this journey just over two years ago when He simply led me to sponsor Sulmi, He saw all of this.  He saw the village in the mountains.  He saw Melania....Aura...Estefani.  He knew the whole time.  One step of faith can cause a lifetime of God's plans to unfold.

So, what now? 

Since wrapping up the Honduras and Guatemala blog series, I have received updates on all 4 of my girls.  Bella received a heartfelt letter from Estefani talking about our visit.

Melania writes that she knows God cares for her, because He has given her the chance to be loved by someone like me (umm...wow.)  In the three letters I have received since our visit, each which were about two pages long, she shows spiritual maturity and even responds to my letter sharing my testimony, telling me about how she accepted Christ at church with her friends!  She also shares that she is learning to play the guitar in the worship band and goes to church often.  The openness and spiritual encouragement in her letters genuinely uplifts my heart every time.

Sulmi and Aura are also doing well.  They have recently received some medical care, dental care supplies, groceries, and clothing as a result of an inquiry made after our visit.  Their baby sister, Yeilin, should also officially be my sponsored child within the next few months.

So here's the deal: Bella and I are planning to return to Honduras within the next year, hopefully much sooner.  That is our main priority missions-wise, knowing that Estefani has the biggest need right now.  Aside from foreign missions, God has been doing so many incredible things with so many incredible people where I am right now.

 Greater things are yet to come.  What God is doing is just so good!

Meeting Sulmi and Aura (Guatemala 2014, Part 2)

This is part 3 of my Guatemala 2014 blog series.  Click here for part one and here for part two.  Also, don't forget to check out the campaign for Sulmi and Aura and prayerfully consider helping this precious family.

The day had finally arrived!  Early that morning, my World Vision host picked my friend and I up at our hotel, and drove us to another hotel closer to my girls.  Their family would meet us at the hotel, and we would spend the day there together.  After sponsoring this family for more than two years, I couldn't be more ready.

On the 4 hour car ride, we asked our host all sorts of questions about the process of receiving and translating letters, how many sponsors actually visit, etc.  The ride was hours long, and the view breath taking.  As I sat back and observed the mountains, I thought about where my girls where and prayed for their safe journey to meet me.

When we arrived at the hotel, I saw their truck across the parking lot. Then, one by one, I saw them exit.

This was the exact moment I had spent more than two years praying for.  I jumped out of the car and headed towards the girls.  They looked exactly how I had envisioned them, almost as if they had just stepped out of one of the pictures I had framed on my nightstand back home.  I ran to hug Sulmi, but before I could, their dad stepped out in front to be the first to hug me.  It was so sweet and funny.  I knew right then that this sponsorship journey was a family effort.

 

I quickly moved on to the girls.  Sulmi was stiff and shy, but her smile held all of her excitement.  Despite her quiet demeanor, she wrapped her arms around me and giggled with joy.



  

  

Aura was next.  When I called her name, her eyes lit up- almost surprised that I had recognized her.

After meeting the girls' mother and new baby sister Yeilin (who I hope to sponsor in the future), the girls and I grabbed hands and headed to the picnic area in the back.



Aura sat next to me and smiled up at me every time I looked at her.  There was conversation about kittens and butterflies and jewelry and all things girly.  I talked to their parents about work and letter writing.  Their dad told me that he reads every one of my letters over and over again, and has continually prayed that we would meet face to face.  The conversation was full of joy and nervous laughter.

I learned that the girls live high up a secluded mountain, which they never leave.  Our visit may have been the first time they left their mountain in their lives.  Sulmi shyly got up and whispered something to her mother.  Her mother giggled and relayed to me, "Sulmi says she wants to visit you at your house."  

Finally being there holding my girls seemed like more than I could have ever asked for.

Our hotel had wildlife roaming the yard.  At one point, I saw a giant peacock walk past and went over to it.  After a moment, I turned around to see my sweet Aura following behind me.  Smiling, she came up next to me and grabbed my hand.  This was the first time Aura had initiated contact with me.  She was so happy, but didn't always know how to show it.  When Sulmi realized we were gone, she too came and took my other hand.  We had fun chasing the peacock around the yard.



As we walked, I spotted something through a patch of trees.  A playground!  I don't have pictures of this, because my friend was back at the picnic shelter with my camera; but we walked over to the playground, and the girls didn't know what to do.  No, literally.  I am quite confident they had never seen a swing before in their lives.  In my limited Spanish, I tried to convey to Aura how to sit on the swings.  I found a two-person swing, and by the grace of God, knew how to say, "one of you here, one of you here" in Spanish.  They sat down and looked to me, almost as if to say, "Now what?".  When I started to push them, they lit up, and burst out in the happiest laughter I had ever heard.

After lunch, it was time to give the girls the gifts I had brought for them.  I started with the American Girl dolls- telling them they were the same kind of doll I played with when I was their age.  I told them that they are like daughters to me, so it was a special connection I wanted us to share.



Next, there were princess tiaras, jewelry, pink bibles, art supplies, and anything else a little girl could want.

The day came to a close all too quickly.  As I hugged each girl goodbye one last time, I told them I would see them soon.  When I hugged Sulmi, I lifted her up and spun her around.  "Te quiero mucho mucho mucho!", I exclaimed- I love you so much. 

In a way, I don't know what else to say about our time together.  My visit with these girls was much shorter than the visits with my girls in Honduras.  Yes, it was just as beautiful and wonderful.  They are the daughters of my heart, and I long to see them again.  I absolutely fell in love on this trip.  It was just simple and beautiful.  All I really have to say is Gracias a Dios- thanks to God.

Here At Last (Guatemala 2014, Part 1)

This is part 2 of my Guatemala 2014 blog series.  Click here to read part 1.

It was just over two years ago that God spoke to my heart about child sponsorship for the first time.  Just over two years ago that he led me to sponsor Sulmi (and just over a year since I added her sister, Aura).  Just over two years since this foreign place, Guatemala, became an everyday part of my prayer life.  I dreamed and prayed and longed to be there. 

And after two long years, two other mission trips, and a million God-ordained life events in between, it happened.

On July 5, 2014, my friend and I arrived in Guatemala City with a group of 10 others.  The group was actually working at an orphanage all week and allowed us to come along before venturing off with World Vision for a day to meet my girls.

On our hour-long drive from Guatemala City to the city of Antigua where the group would be working all week, I was mesmerized.  "God", I prayed, "this is the place I've been praying for.  This is what I've been dreaming of for two years.  Now we're here!"  Guatemala was so charming, and SO different than Honduras!  I knew there was danger in both places, but Guatemala felt slightly more westernized.  The roads were paved.  The highways were lined with Walmart and Forever 21 and all of the stores that my small town back home doesn't even have.  I knew not all of Guatemala was like this, but I was so enchanted by what I had seen so far.  Women walked the streets in long handmade Mayan-style skirts and frilly blouses.  They wore their babies in fabric carriers and carried baskets of food on their heads.  It was all exactly how I had pictured it.

In the days leading up to seeing my girls, I just wanted to embrace everything about their country that I had been praying for all this time.

We went to a market and tried on traditional clothing...

 

 

 

We took morning walks every morning, at the base of a volcano...



 

 

We hiked through coffee fields, learning about how the beans are grown and processed...

 

 

 

 

 

And visited the home of a coffee farmer, where we learned to separate, roast, and grind our own coffee beans...

 

 

 

 

Seriously the best cup of coffee I've ever tasted!

 

 

It was all so sweet...so beautiful...so Guatemalan (and all God's people say, "duh!").  I can't say it exactly felt like home the way Honduras did, or the way the United States does.  What it was, though, was an answer to a long-prayed prayer.  It was a beautiful promised land of something I had dreamed of for all this time.  Even though on this trip, I often couldn't see what God was going to do even one step ahead of me, I knew He had a plan.  I knew it was good.  I knew He was the one who had brought me to Guatemala.  And next, I would see my girls!

 

You Are My Sunshine (Honduras 2014, Part 8)

When Estefani didn't show up for the party, despite the fact that the staff at the center had told her and her family to come for one last goodbye, I saw a side of Bella that I had never seen before- crazy determined mom mode.  She went around to all of the staff at the center, the translators, and the leaders of our team, demanding (nicely) somebody find out where Estefani was.  Upon learning that Estefani didn't have a way to get there, Bella said, "Call her family and tell them we'll be right there."  She left the church with one of the men from our team, and returned about 20 minutes later with Estefani.

We all spent the evening dancing with our kids.  It was a great way to end an amazing trip.

After a while, I noticed Bella and Estefani had stopped dancing and gone to sit down.  I found them at a table towards the back of the church.  Estefani was cuddled up in Bella's lap.  She was sad, knowing goodbye wasn't far away.  It was also way past her bed time and she was clearly fighting sleep.  As I got closer, I heard the sound of Bella and one of our other teammates sweetly singing "You Are My Sunshine" to Estefani. 

Admiring Bella's rings

At some point in the evening, Estefani asked if we could come back for her birthday too, which was in only a couple of weeks.  We regretfully told her there wasn't enough time to plan another trip that quickly, but we'd be sending her a gift for her birthday, which a friend of ours will be delivering on her upcoming trip to Honduras.  We also promised to throw a party for her quinceanera some day when she turned 15.

All too soon, the party had ended and it was time to say goodbye.  I went and found Melania, and a translator, because I still had one very important thing to say to her.  We told each other how much we loved and would miss each other.  We promised to pray for each other and our families, and to write letters often.  That was when I said to her, with every ounce of love I had in me, the words God had impressed on my heart days earlier- you are a masterpiece.  A few days before leaving for Honduras, God had led one of my best friends to speak those very words to me when I needed it most.  I knew He then wanted to send me to Honduras with that very message for every girl I encountered.  We hugged countless times, and held hands until we got outside to my team's van.  As Melania disappeared into the distance, her cousin, Luz, came to me and wiped my tears.  It was such a sweet exchange that I will cherish forever.

As I stood outside of the van with Bella and Estefani, I played with Estefani's hair and prayed within myself.  "God," I said, "I'm not brave enough to leave her.  Not yet."  After a moment, I changed my prayer- there was nothing brave about this decision.  Nothing brave about leaving this beauty and returning back to the states- to comfort.  I decided I was a coward, and on we went. Don't worry, I now understand that I had to come home, at least for a while.

When we got to Estefani's house to drop her off, Bella and I got out of the van and walked her to the door.  As we walked up to the house, Bella and I both fought back tears.  It wasn't until we were on the porch, that I noticed Estefani too was crying and clinging to Bella.

I helped to translate as Bella repeatedly said, "I love you" and "see you soon."  Estefani said nothing, but continued to cry.  At one point, she pulled away from Bella for a moment and came to me.  She stretched out her arms and wrapped them around me.  "See you soon, yes?" I said.  She nodded through her tears.  I then muttered off some words in Spanish, in no particular structural order.  I remember saying "precious" and "princess", but I'm pretty sure I didn't actually form any full sentences. 

After the longest and hardest goodbye in history, Bella finally knocked on the door.  Estefani's uncle answered.  After a few more hugs, Estefani went into the house, and we returned to the van.

Sometimes it doesn't feel like there was any glorious ending to this story.  And I guess in part, that's because it's not the end.  We cried the whole way back to our hotel.  We then laid in bed and cried ourselves to sleep.  We left the country a day later, without Estefani.  When we got home, we both lived with the guilt of leaving and anxiousness to return (we know those feelings were not of God, although we also believe He does want us to return.)  But this story is glorious.  This wasn't a one time visit.  God willing, Estefani will have a long term support system for the rest of her childhood.  There will be letters and visit and needs fulfilled and prayers prayed.  She will be told again and again and again that God is the Heavenly Father who is with her when no one else is.  From now until forever, Estefani's story will be different.  Her story will be one of love, not rejection.  Of beauty, not tragedy.  Six months ago when God called us to sponsor her, He knew.  And one thing I know for sure, He is only beginning.

Dreams Come True (Honduras 2014, Part 7)

Back at the sponsorship center, the staff was busy preparing for Melania's quinceanera party.  For those of you who are just now joining us- the main reason I returned to Honduras when I did was to have a 15th birthday (quinceanera) party for Melania.  It is a huge deal for girls in Central America, often bigger than their wedding day!

It was awesome to arrive at the project and see all of these women gathered around, excitedly planning Melania's party.  It helped me to know that when we said goodbye later that night, our girls would have a whole army of people to look after them.

Guests began to arrive, and it was time for us to get ourselves ready.  While we got dressed and did our hair and makeup, the amazing staff at the project decorated the church.



Oh, did I mention that right before the party, the church got swarmed by thousands of flying termites?  They were all over us and the church; even in our dresses!

Just like a wedding here in America, a big part of a quinceanera is the father-daughter dance.  Unfortunately, Melania's father passed away 3 years ago.  Before the party, one of my team members, Jonathan, pulled me aside.  He said, "Megan, I'm not fluent in Spanish, but I think your girl just asked me to dance with her at the party."  It was such a sweet moment to once again see how much of an impact not just I, but my whole group, was able to have on my girls.  I loved that they have such a strong support system behind them. 



Practicing





Melania's family and friends started arriving, along with the children who are sponsored by our team.  The party began and Melania made her stunning entrance.  She was so nervous, but handled it with such grace.



Melania, her brother, and I all gave speeches at the party.  Through her brother's speech, I learned that it had been Melania's dream to celebrate her birthday this year. 

My teammate, Judy, doubled as my translator during the party

They also had a ceremony where Melania's mother replaced her flat shoes with heals- a symbol of becoming an adult.



 And then, the father-daughter dance



Seeing Melania twirl around in her gorgeous pink ball gown and tiara, hair and makeup all done, was a clothed in garlands moment if there ever was one.  After the father-daughter dance, the dj (a project worker with a computer) played some dance music and everyone danced.  Everything was beautiful.  There was just one very important thing missing. 

That thing was Estefani.