Mint Green Nails and Combat Boots

I recently came across this reminder of unconditional, undeserved love.  Gifts that I'd done nothing to deserve.  Failure resulting in only more blessings.  Running from God's words, and yet being lured back in with beautiful gifts- reminders of His faithfulness.  The following post was written, and then never published, late last year.  I wrote the words on my heart as I was sitting in my bedroom one night, admiring a bottle of mint green nail polish and a pair of studded black combat boots; knowing that God had done something so much bigger than updating my wardrobe.  He has spent months teaching me that transformation starts with the heart.  Now I knew.  This is what John meant in the bible when He wrote, "For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome." (1 John 5:3)  Obeying God's Word is good and necessary.  However, obeying out of half-hearted guilt and obligation does not equal loving God.  Loving God is having such passion for Him in your heart, and realizing how much He has blessed you, that you can't help but adore and obey Him.  That is exactly what He did here.

God has spent most of my Christian life, especially the past two years since He led me to sponsor multiple children on a very unpredictable income, to use my resources selflessly and to the fullest.  He always manages to stretch my budget in the craziest ways to make room for more ministry.  Since He has been showing me to seek more of His kingdom rather than things on Earth, the things that were once so important to me just don't really matter any more.   I stopped buying pretty much anything I didn't need.  I stopped the majority of my "just because" Starbucks runs and started buying most things on clearance.  This is not a guilt trip.  It's not that I think buying something you don't need is always a bad thing.  I know that God sometimes, out of love for someone, will bless them with something extra for themselves.  It's just that I know that lavish things will not last.  I want to use every second and every penny for an eternal purpose.  I was not about to waste it.

So, recently, when I wanted some mint green nail polish, I could not bring myself to buy it.  After spending time in countries where parents can barely afford rice for their children, how could I say I was living God's calling to the fullest if I spent the little that has been entrusted to me to make my nails a different color (such a random concept if you think about it)?  In a quick little no-big-deal prayer, I told God that if He chose to give me an extra little blessing by providing it for free, I would absolutely accept and give Him all of the glory for it.  I didn't think much about it afterwards.  It was kind of a silly prayer that, if we're being honest, I didn't expect to be granted.  That is, until one day, when I came home to a random package from my mom, saying she was out shopping and thought of me.  Inside the bag was not only a bottle of mint green nail polish, but also a pair of black combat boots....something I had also been secretly admiring, but really didn't need!

Back when this story took place, although I loved, sought after, and served God to some extent every day, I was not fully in a place of being focused or obedient.  I had been feeling distant and only partly dwelling on His love for me.  Yet, because I had been saved and am His child, rather than anger and punishment, He lures my heart with gifts- reminders of His love.  Reminders that He sees me and hears my prayers.  1 John 5:3 is so true....loving God is keeping His commandments....but keeping them out of gratefulness.  He filled my heart with such joy.  I have every reason to worship Him in thanks.

Almost a year later, I still wear these boots in awe of His love for me.