The Valley of Dry Bones

 "The hand of the LORD was upon me, and He brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me down in the middle of the valley; and it was full of bones.  He caused me to pass among them round about, and behold, there were very many on the surface of the valley; and lo, they were very dry.  He said to me, 'Son of man, can these bones live?' And I answered, 'O Lord GOD, You know.'  Again He said to me, 'Prophesy over these bones and say to them, 'O dry bones, hear the word of the LORD.'  Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones, 'Behold, I will cause breath to enter you that you may come to life." -Ezekiel 37:15, emphasis mine

This land is dry.  Desolate.  Dead.  Not even grass grows here.  Nothing more than brown hills and valleys caked in mud and covered with shriveled up weeds.  You would never guess it, but this dry and desolate land was once a place of beauty.  This land was once a lake.  When I was little and up through high school, my mom used to take me to this lake.  I used to stand on this very dock and look out at this very scenery.  Only, back then, the sun would glisten off of the water.  Waves would crash and ducks would float past.  This is where I used to hula hoop and cartwheel and splash in the shallow water.  Even on days when it was too cold to play outside, we would drive up to the lake, park our car facing the water, and peer out over it as we read or listened to the radio or simply took in the scenery.

At the lake around age 16

I went looking for this lake several years later while on a hunt for a tranquil place to read and pray.  Instead of a place of beauty, I found a dry land.   I found valleys, brown hills, weeds, and mud.  The land itself was barricaded by a metal guard rail.  I climbed over and down into the now-empty hole.  The dock was still there and everything.  Stepping out, I glanced over this horribly blank canvas. 

I later learned the lake had been drained because it was at risk of flooding a nearby town.  I re-discovered this land at age 22 during a season in my life that was, indeed, dry.   I was between jobs, my sister had passed away, I had recently ended a dating relationship, and I was battling a mystery illness that to this day has never been explained (but is now healed).  My child sponsorship ministry was the only thing that still seemed fruitful in my life, but even that had become somewhat of an unknown, as my travel had been put on a brief hold due to finances and health.  When I looked out at this dry land, I remembered Ezekiel speaking to the emptiness.  I remembered the ruach- the breath of God that filled in the emptiness and brought it back to life.  Life at this time was a blank canvas.  Any time I felt empty, I would return to this place and pray for God to breathe life.  And oh did He!

When you are in a season that seems dead or too far gone, especially a situation that is too big to fix on your own, remember the dry land.  Pray for God's ruach to breathe life over the situation that seems hopeless and watch the dead bones rise!

The White Savior Complex

It has been 8 years since I first stepped foot on Honduran soil.  19-year-old me boldly stepped out, naïve but truly led by God, to reach people who I thought were in need of my love.  And some of them were.  There are people everywhere who need to be shown love, and God has definitely led me to some of those people during my visits to Central America.  Yet, I also quickly learned that Hondurans have a love of their own to give.  Mark 16:15 says to go into all the world and make disciples, so we know it's good to travel for ministry, but with the right motives.  I have now been to Honduras ten times and Guatemala once.  The way I view the world has changed greatly over the years, especially the last year, and it's time to talk about it.

This is a compilation of all of my current thoughts about white saviorism.  That is, white Americans and other people of privilege acting like they are saving the world through fairly small acts that sometimes do more harm than good.  This post is everything I see on both sides.  The purpose is to help you process similar thoughts in your own life and ministry and to give us a place to talk about it as we strive to do better.  People of all races and backgrounds, please feel free to comment on this post or contact me privately.  I am a 27 year old white female in America who definitely doesn’t have it all figured out; but I’d like to use this post to start the conversation and explain why I haven't written in a while.  While child sponsorship still is and (God willing) always will be one of the most important areas of my life, I have learned a lot and realized how much I needlessly over shared about some personal information related to my sponsored children.  I plan to start blogging about child sponsorship again, but in way that is more honorable to everyone involved.  I want to tell the stories of how God led me to the children I sponsor and ideas of things to send to your sponsored children, while still respecting the privacy of their own stories just like I would for a friend or relative.  These are real humans, not just a story to tell.  The goal of An Omer of Manna will now be to share ideas with other sponsors who I communicate with on sponsor forums and to update my close friends and family on my life and ministry, not to gain an outside following.  

As a disclaimer, the photos in this post are just some of my favorites from visits with my sponsored children in Honduras.  They are not necessarily photos of the people I'm talking about in the post. 

Where to start....

Christians who go on short term mission trips are often criticized for traveling to other places to feel good about themselves and not actually doing much good for the places they visit.  I understand this, and a lot of times it’s true.  However, James 1:27 does say to visit widows and orphans in their distress.  This verse says visit.  It doesn’t say adopt or give long term financial support.  Those are good things that the bible talks about elsewhere; but this verse tells me that sometimes, simply visiting someone in a difficult situation to give comfort and love is enough.  For this reason, I am not automatically against people going on short term mission trips without building long term relationships and making major physical improvements in the communities they visit.  Still, we do need to be mindful when working with orphans and other vulnerable children specifically. Short term trips to visit orphans can cause them to form bonds with the visitors and then feel abandoned all over again when those visitors leave and never come back.  Back to James 1:27, I want to repeat that the bible says it is good to visit orphans. So how do we do this safely?  For one, this verse never says orphan visits need to be international or with strangers.  Maybe sometimes, we can live out this verse simply by checking in on a neighbor or member of our church who lost their parents.  Or mentoring local foster children who we can visit regularly and invest in long term.  I’m not saying these are the only good ways; they’re just the only ones I’ve come up with so far.

That being said, we MUST understand the reason our visits are a blessing isn’t because we’re from the US, white, or comparably wealthy.  We MUST understand that if there are Christians in the communities we are visiting, they are equally if not more capable of ministering to the people there as we are.  That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t go.  There are many reasons to travel for ministry, which I’ll get to in a minute.  But it’s problematic to show up in another country or community, do a basic construction project that we’re less qualified to do than the locals are, sing a few Vacation Bible School songs that the locals could have sung to their own children, snap pictures with some cute kids, and leave feeling like those people’s lives were changed just because an American existed in their community for a few days.  No.  That’s gross.

God loves adventure.  He loves to write adventure stories through the lives of His children.  It IS very special for someone who is struggling to receive an encouraging visit from another person who came from so far away just to see them.  Not because we’re white or westernized, but because we took the time to come.  Even I’d feel special if someone traveled far just to visit me when I was struggling.  One of my sponsored teens recently told me that the time and sacrifice involved in making our visits possible is part of why they mean so much to her.  It makes her understand that she is worth it.  So I understand why God sends people from far away.  It’s biblical.  But it’s not because they’re better than the people who are already there.  Another reason to travel for ministry is if you’re visiting a place where people don’t know the gospel or don’t know how to apply it to their lives.  Bringing the gospel or sound doctrine to other nations is very biblical.  In the book of Acts, Paul was constantly traveling to different groups of Christians for the purpose of correcting and strengthening their doctrine, as well as traveling to different groups of non believers to share the good news with them.  I see a lot of need for doctrine in Honduras- people knowing the name of Jesus, but often not letting Him transform their lives and actions.  It’s true that we can (and should) be doing a lot of these things right here in our own countries.  When we feel led to an overseas mission, we should evaluate what we are hoping to contribute to the community and why we are traveling so far away instead of doing it right in our cities.  Also though, sometimes the answer will be "because God said so", and that's ok.  God isn’t limited by boarders.  His children are His children regardless of location.  And sometimes, He knows the person who you are perfect for reaching happens to live far away.  So of course He’ll send you to them.

When referring to white Americans, people often use the word “privileged” in a negative way.  It’s true that as a whole, we have more privilege than many (not all) other nations and races.  This can become problematic if we don’t recognize it.  The American way is not always the best way.  Yet, while our privilege doesn’t make us better at doing God’s work than anyone else, it does give us different tools to use.  Not better, just different.  I was once speaking to a woman in a country I was visiting who had guardianship of her 13-year-old niece.  Days earlier, her niece had run away and was said to be staying in a building that was known for selling drugs.  She was a sweet girl who had faced so much rejection in her young life that she just didn’t know how to function in a family.  So she ran.  When I asked this woman what was being done to get her niece out of there, she said, “I truly don’t know what I can do.”  It wasn’t that she didn’t care.  Where she lives, it’s common for teens in difficult situations to run off and do this sort of thing.  Many parents and guardians let it happen simply because they don’t know they have options.  My friend and I instantly sent this woman to a local group home for struggling teens who got the police involved and got the child to safety within an hour.  They kept her in the group home for a few weeks while she received counseling and they could evaluate which relative was safest for her to be with long term.  I’m not patting myself on the back.  Telling authorities that a child’s life is in immediate danger is the bare minimum of what someone can do.  But it’s an example of how sometimes, growing up with privilege gives us the advantage of seeing opportunities and solutions that are right in front of us.  Opportunities some other people and cultures overlook because they’ve spent their whole lives being told they didn’t have options.  And we get to show them they do.  So, I  don’t think privilege is all bad.

I was recently talking through these things with a friend who is part of the child sponsorship ministry I work with.  We both sponsor several children in Honduras.  She mentioned how sponsors tend to act like our sponsored children are in need of our love, when actually the majority of them have parents or relatives who love them and do whatever they can to provide for them and just need the extra financial support.  For the most part, I agree.  Living in poverty doesn’t mean someone doesn't have the ability to love their children and point them to Jesus.  I see the other side of things too, though; because many of my sponsored kids act like they do need the love so desperately.  A mentor’s love in my teen years is literally the reason I’m a Christian and going to Heaven, and why I have any emotional stability at all.  Even though I had parents who provided for me, they didn’t know Jesus (yet) and couldn’t give me that.  So I don’t doubt that God can and will use sponsorship to do some deeply amazing things.  But yes, many sponsors act like they are their sponsored child’s whole world.  We need to remember the children have whole lives where they are.  Not only in the positive ways, like having parents who love them and raise them full time…but also in the negative ways, like the daily struggles and temptations they face.  It’s so important to consistently pray for God to do the things we can’t.  Sending a letter every 2 months is great and it can encourage the child to seek God and seek their purpose in Him...but it doesn’t erase the very real lives they are living every day.  Visiting these children has shown me that their battles are often so much deeper.  We need to battle in prayer for God to do what we can’t do in the lives of our sponsored children and fight the battles we may not even know exist. 

I’d like to title this next paragraph you are not necessarily the answer to the problem just because you are American.  I saw a video blog recently from a couple who was living in foreign country for work and saw a young girl standing on the side of the road asking for money.  The woman in the video said as soon as she saw the girl, she decided she wanted to adopt her.  Seemingly before even knowing if the girl had parents or relatives.  It turned out she didn't have parents, but had an adult brother who was raising her.  Rather than supporting this family so the child could stay with her relatives, the couple instantly decided to adopt her- basically suggesting they are the best thing for her because of their wealth or race.  The woman in the video even proudly said, "she looks at me like a savior."  The girl's brother agreed to send her with this couple, probably out of desperation to give her a better life.  Now, I agree that the girl needed support.  Young girls should not be walking the streets in gang-ridden areas begging for money to survive, no matter what culture they live in or how normalized it is.  And I do support adoption if the child has no biological relatives who are willing and able to provide a safe and loving environment (sometimes with assistance at first), and when it's legal and well thought out.  Just trust me when I say that was not the case here.  The couple admitted in the video that they never even discussed it with each other.  This "adoption", which never became legal, lasted less than 4 months before the girl was no longer with the "adopted" family.  I don't know whether they gave her up or whether they weren't allowed to keep her.  In their video blog, they simply stopped mentioning her at all and soon moved back to their home country without her.  I believe this couple had good intentions, but the more I've educated myself recently, the more my heart hurts for the girl and the damage that was likely done. I find myself wishing there was something I could do, yet knowing the last thing this girl needs is another American coming in trying to save the day.  Sadly, the couple revealed the child’s location (at least where she was before she stayed with them) in the video, so I do know where she likely is.  Not just the country, but the exact neighborhood.  If anyone has suggestions regarding if/how to connect this girl and her brother with actual (preferably local to her) support without being just another good intentioned American who makes things worse, please let me know!

I’ve been thinking about how it can be problematic and even racist to assume someone needs help simply because of the country they live in.  When I sent backpacks full of school supplies and gifts to my sponsored children through the Manna 4 Lempira program last year (which is a benefit of the program their parents sign them up for so I feel fine about that), I also sent 2 large boxes full of gifts and supplies for a family nearby who I grew close to during visits but are not part of any program.  To be honest, I didn’t even know if they needed assistance.  These gifts included school supplies, clothing, toiletries, bibles, toys, and more.  The family members, a mama and 2 tween girls, were thrilled.  The mother even sent me a video of the girls opening their gifts and screaming with joy over every little thing.  They never gave me a reason to believe they felt anything negative about it.  Still, watching the video made me think.  There was one part of the video where one of the girls held up one of her gifts to show her mom and exclaimed, “how beautiful mami!”.  And I couldn’t stop thinking of the mama behind the camera, probably wishing she had been given the opportunity to provide these things for her daughters.  The worst part is, it’s possible she could have.  I never even asked.  I assumed they needed it literally just because they lived in Honduras.  I don’t fully know what the answer is here, because I’d feel even worse if the family sees me sending to others and not them if they are in need.  So far, I’ve made sure to connect with the mom and continually thank her for allowing me to come alongside her to mentor her children.  I also sent her a Mother’s Day card saying these things.  This year, I stuck to what I could fit into 1 backpack per child instead of 2 large boxes.  It's a start.  Suggestions are greatly appreciated.  Thankfully, the year I sent a lot was the first year of the pandemic when almost everyone in the world was in need of support of some kind, which probably helped it to not feel so targeted.

Last, I want to say most of the subjects I touched on in this post probably have exceptions.  If you are led by God to do one of the things I painted in a negative light such as sending a giant box of gifts to someone who may not need it....please do what you are led to do as long as it doesn't directly go against the bible!  This post is to give you things to take into consideration in your ministry, but God knows more than we do and may know the person needs the gift you have to give.