From Here

I have this picture of Lily- an 11 year old girl who is the daughter of a family friend.  In the picture, Lily is standing at the finish line of a relay race; her arms raised in victory.  There are others in the distance.  Just by looking at this picture, there is something you would probably never know.  In this picture, little Lily was fighting cancer.  She passed away just months after it was taken.

I have kept this picture because it brings me peace.  It gives me perspective.  It reminds me of a song I hear often.  The song is called From Here by Big Daddy Weave.  The song is written from the perspective of somebody who has passed away and gone to Heaven.  The line that sticks out to me, and that I always think of when I see this picture of Lily, is this:

“From here, the race has been won

  Love’s already won

  I see clearly, the end and the start”

From the viewpoint of Heaven, the race has been won.  The struggle has ended.  God’s love and mercy have brought you to the finish line and given you victory over your sin and the pain that you once faced on Earth.  Another line of the song was written as though talking to someone who is still on Earth.  Although I don’t think, nor does the bible say, that people can talk to us or see us from Heaven, I do believe that if they could, they would say something very similar to this:

 “I know that your heart would know peace, if you could just see where I am.”

So often when I struggle with things of this world, I tend to think, “If I could just see a glimpse of Heaven, none of this would matter.  I would remember how temporary all of this struggle is and would be reminded of what really matters.”  When I hear this song and think about being in Heaven, I am reminded of the peace and stability that we have in Christ. 

Recently, God spoke something so beautiful to my heart.  As I was thinking of the picture of Lily at the finish line and wishing that I could have that glimpse of Heaven to put things into perspective, God said, “A glimpse of Heaven?  My little lamb, I have given you much more than a glimpse.  Not only did I send My Son down to Earth to show you much more than a glimpse of who I am, and then die to take the punishment for your sins to save you from hell and allow you to be re-born into My family if you so choose…but then, I put My own Spirit inside of you, to continue to teach you about Heaven and speak to you about Me.  I did this to help you to understand My Word when you read and hear it.  I have given you much more than a mere glimpse of Heaven, My child.  It’s not a glimpse that you see with your eyes, but rather, one that you see through the eyes of faith.  Faith is the assurance of things hoped for.  It is the conviction of things not seen.  Hold on to faith with Me as your strength.  Hold on to the various glimpses of Heaven that My Word brings to you, and know peace, My love.”

So now, as I look at Lily standing at that finish line, I will remember to run this race with the finish line in mind- eternity in Heaven.  When I face trials, I will remember, as God has shown me several times lately, to run the race with Heaven as my viewpoint- and let God lead my paths to the Earthly things that He needs of me.  I will also take time aside each day to gain Heavenly perspective in His Word.

 “Let us lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” –Hebrews 12:1

The Loaves and The Fish

Our God is so full of unexpected plans and blessings! 

I recently shared the story of God leading me to sponsor a sweet girl in Honduras named Melania.  I tried to resist and convince God that sponsoring the one child I already had was plenty.  I told Him I wasn’t equipped to do more.  I shared with you how He made room in my heart and got me used to the idea of sponsoring both of those beautiful girls.  Like God has been telling me over and over again and even confirming through others: when you show that you are faithful in the little things, He will assign more to you.  Whether that be blessings, ministry, or anything else…be faithful with the little that you have been given, and it will show that you can be trusted with more.  Not always in your way or your timing, but your dedication will not be ignored.

"He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much." -Luke 16:10

This morning, I logged on to my World Vision child sponsorship account to find a new little face staring back at me!  I literally jumped back from my computer screen when I saw what I thought must be a mistake- knowing that I had only agreed to sponsoring Sulmi and Melania.  My first reaction was that something was wrong and they had assigned a child to the wrong sponsor’s account.  I was about to pick up the phone and call the organization when I noticed the child’s name- Aura Roseli. 

Aura Roseli isn’t just a beautiful name; it is a name I know well.  It is a name mentioned in all of my Sulmi’s letters.  Aura Roseli is my Sulmi’s sister!  Then it hit me- this was the sister who I sent in an inquiry about sponsoring over six months ago when I first found out she existed and never got a reply!  This was the sister who I had to lay in God’s hands and tell Him to do as He wished when I hadn’t received responses from World Vision about sponsoring her.  This was the child who I have been praying for since last summer and longing to actually see- the child who I'd decided probably already had a sponsor- the child who I had come to the conclusion wouldn’t be mine.  But there she was...

This wasn’t a mistake.  She was really mine.  She had really been assigned to my account without my knowledge.  Two weeks ago, I was the sponsor of just one little girl, like the majority of my friends are.  That alone was great and I was perfectly happy with one.  Now, all of a sudden, God had blessed me with the ministry of sponsoring 3 girls- sponsoring 3 girls on a very unpredictable income, having just turned 19!  If God hadn’t just done that work in my heart with Melania two weeks ago, I’m sure that thought would have caused at least minor panic on my part.  After seeing His provision so clearly with Melania though, and after being assigned this child that I had no control over, I couldn’t possibly doubt that He would take care of this, too.  I calmly opened my bank account and re-budgeted my money.  I was amazed to find that I not only had enough to cover all three sponsorships the whole way through the end of the year without cutting anything out of my budget, but also enough extra to send birthday gifts to all 3 girls!  It’s like the loaves and the fish really. In the bible, when there wasn't enough food to go around, Jesus used the five loaves of bread and two fish He was given to work with, and continued to break and multiply it until it fed over 5,000 people with some food left over. Jesus continues to break us, multiply us, and spread us out to more places and people and ministries than we knew we were capable of. Not only that, but like the story in the bible, there is still some left over!  It’s so beautiful! 

I am so amazed at His work that I can’t even entertain the pathetic thoughts that the enemy has tried to put in my head about it- that the money will run out, that people will think I'm crazy (as if everything Jesus ever did wasn’t crazy to those who didn’t understand), that Sulmi won’t feel as special if I sponsor both her and her sister….  As the enemy continues to throw these thoughts my way, I am reminded of Him who led this all to happen.  I am reminded that He is fully capable.  Not only this, but I am reminded that if He has this part of my life so under control, He is equally capable with the rest of it.  I would be a fool to ever worry again after seeing these plans come to pass.

One of my best friends jokingly said to me today, "You always said you wanted to have like...27,000 kids.  I bet you never expected God to do it like this!"  And you know, that is so true.  I remember just a few months ago, God showed me this verse:

"...I am doing something in your days- you would not believe if you were told." -Habakuk 1:5

And He's right.  I couldn't have planned it better myself. 

Walking on Water

I am so in awe of God lately.

Seriously, He is incredible. I'm just the stubborn person who He finally got to pay attention to what He's saying. As I recently heard a preacher say, "You either change before you have to, or you change because you have to." As a Christian, chances are at some point in your life, God is going to lead you somewhere you wouldn't have chosen to go. Maybe it's somewhere that will mess up your idea of a dream life, somewhere that scares you, or somewhere you simply don't feel equipped to be.  Over the past year, God has broken me down and (lovingly) forced me down a path I had no idea I wanted to go on, after months of resisting His calling.  He showed me how true this saying is- you either change before you have to, when He is gently telling you where to go...or you change because you have to, when He, knowing what is best, takes you there anyway. The process can be painful, but the end result is worth every second.

A few weeks ago, a dear friend introduced me to the book Undaunted by Christine Caine. The book is about following God's calling for your life without letting anything hold you back. Where God guides, He provides.  Like it says in Phillipians 1:6, "He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ."

The author of this book, Christine Caine, works to rescue girls and women who are caught in human sex trafficking.  Sex trafficking is when somebody is forced or threatened into prostitution against their will, or when a child under the age of 18 is lured into prostitution, whether willingly or unwillingly.  In the book, Christine talks about one of her first experiences ministering to a young girl who had been rescued from this life.  When she shared the gospel with the girl and told her about the loving God who came to set her free and give her a second chance, the girl's response was something she could never forget.  In anger, this girl looked at her and shouted the words, "If what you are telling me is true....If what you say about your God is true- then where were you? Where have you been? Why didn't you come sooner?" Christine said that those words, "Why didn't you come sooner?", fuel her every day.  And it got me thinking.  What is my excuse?  I know this is happening to girls around the world and even in my own community (yes!).  Now what was I going to do about it?  It was something God had made me painfully aware of. It was something that I knew I couldn't ignore.

About two weeks ago, thanks to a friend and child sponsorship advocate, Kim, I was made aware of a 13 year old girl in Honduras named Melania.  She recently lost her father and is not attending school- taking jewelry making classes at her church instead.  For this reason, she could be at a much higher risk of being lured into "business" schemes that lead to human trafficking, among other dangers.  Upon hearing about Melania, I knew I couldn't ignore her.  My friend was advocating to find someone who would sponsor Melania not only financially, but also through letters of love and encouragement. I began to pray for her and shared her picture on Facebook, hoping to find somebody who would sponsor her.

Every time I stopped to pray for her though, the words "Why didn't you come sooner?" rang in my ears. Every time I thought about her, I had the all too familiar nudge in my soul to do something. At this point, fear began to set in. "God", I reminded Him, "I am already a sponsor, remember? I already have Sulmi (my 4 year old sponsor child in Guatemala).  I want to pour everything I have into Sulmi- my love, my time, the little money You've blessed me with... LORD, I know this sounds ridiculous, but I almost feel like I don't have enough in me to stretch between the both of them.  I like being exclusive to sponsoring Sulmi and loving Guatemala. Isn't that enough?" Yes, I am now aware of how silly that sounds, but it was the honest cry of my heart.  I just honestly doubting I was equipped for this task.

That same day, I came to the part in Undaunted that talked about God calling Moses to speak against the Egyptians, which I had "coincidentally" just read in my bible the night before.  This passage can be found in Exodus 4. Christine talked about how in the story, God called Moses to speak; and Moses kept telling God he wasn't equipped to do so. He told God he didn't speak well enough. As Christine put it, "When Moses finally stopped making excuses and did as God told him to, God paved a way for him: through the middle of the red sea, across the dessert- providing food and water and clothing for forty years- all the way to the entrance of the Promised Land." Where God guides, He provides! The rest of the chapter talked about how most people reading it have been called by God to do something out of their comfort zone. It talked about how people often say "I don't have enough love, enough money, etc." do to what God calls them to do! Sound familiar?

Then I knew. God put Melania on my heart. He had provided everything I needed.  If He was truly leading this, He would fill me with the love and dedication I needed to do it.  There was really no reason for me to say no to this calling. Even after this revelation, it took another day for me to commit. However, on February 13, I couldn't resist the calling any more. With that being said, I would like to introduce you to my sponsor sister, Melania.

My purpose for writing this isn't to show you how great I am.  After all, I basically told the God of the universe that I didn't have enough room in my heart to love an additional person.  Listen, I am writing this to tell you how amazing my God is!  I am writing this to tell you to follow His lead. No matter how painful the road ahead may seem, He is leading you through it in order to bring you to somewhere greater. I am writing this to tell you that where God guides, He most certainly does provide. He calls us to minister to both the spiritual and physical needs of those around us. He doesn't want us to give somebody the chance to ask us, "Why didn't you come sooner?".   This is not a guilt trip and I am most certainly not telling you what to do. Child sponsorship is not for everyone. It may not be for you.  The point is, there is something God is calling you to do that seems too big, too hard, or too painful. There is something on your heart that has been there for way too long. Am I right? There is some sort of need you have been made painfully aware of and cannot ignore any longer.  That is why I am writing this. I want to tell you that on the other side of the fear and pain, there is this amazing place where, like Peter in the bible, you have stepped out of the boat and are walking by faith on the water (Matthew 14). Through this experience, I discovered that when God guides you to that uncomfortable place of walking on the water, His arms will be around you every step of the way- making it not so uncomfortable after all.

And you know what?  God has already multiplied my heart greater than I ever knew possible, and Melania fits just fine.  God had a purpose and a need in mind when He called me to sponsor Melania.  He saw a need in her, maybe even a prayer for help...and when He looked all over the world, He saw me as the one He would use to fill this role; not because of anything I've done on my own, but because of how He's equipped me.  He called me from a whole other country and is using me to fulfill a specific purpose in Melania's life that I may or may not ever know in full.  I can't wait to see what He has in store!