Walking on Water

I am so in awe of God lately.

Seriously, He is incredible. I'm just the stubborn person who He finally got to pay attention to what He's saying. As I recently heard a preacher say, "You either change before you have to, or you change because you have to." As a Christian, chances are at some point in your life, God is going to lead you somewhere you wouldn't have chosen to go. Maybe it's somewhere that will mess up your idea of a dream life, somewhere that scares you, or somewhere you simply don't feel equipped to be.  Over the past year, God has broken me down and (lovingly) forced me down a path I had no idea I wanted to go on, after months of resisting His calling.  He showed me how true this saying is- you either change before you have to, when He is gently telling you where to go...or you change because you have to, when He, knowing what is best, takes you there anyway. The process can be painful, but the end result is worth every second.

A few weeks ago, a dear friend introduced me to the book Undaunted by Christine Caine. The book is about following God's calling for your life without letting anything hold you back. Where God guides, He provides.  Like it says in Phillipians 1:6, "He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ."

The author of this book, Christine Caine, works to rescue girls and women who are caught in human sex trafficking.  Sex trafficking is when somebody is forced or threatened into prostitution against their will, or when a child under the age of 18 is lured into prostitution, whether willingly or unwillingly.  In the book, Christine talks about one of her first experiences ministering to a young girl who had been rescued from this life.  When she shared the gospel with the girl and told her about the loving God who came to set her free and give her a second chance, the girl's response was something she could never forget.  In anger, this girl looked at her and shouted the words, "If what you are telling me is true....If what you say about your God is true- then where were you? Where have you been? Why didn't you come sooner?" Christine said that those words, "Why didn't you come sooner?", fuel her every day.  And it got me thinking.  What is my excuse?  I know this is happening to girls around the world and even in my own community (yes!).  Now what was I going to do about it?  It was something God had made me painfully aware of. It was something that I knew I couldn't ignore.

About two weeks ago, thanks to a friend and child sponsorship advocate, Kim, I was made aware of a 13 year old girl in Honduras named Melania.  She recently lost her father and is not attending school- taking jewelry making classes at her church instead.  For this reason, she could be at a much higher risk of being lured into "business" schemes that lead to human trafficking, among other dangers.  Upon hearing about Melania, I knew I couldn't ignore her.  My friend was advocating to find someone who would sponsor Melania not only financially, but also through letters of love and encouragement. I began to pray for her and shared her picture on Facebook, hoping to find somebody who would sponsor her.

Every time I stopped to pray for her though, the words "Why didn't you come sooner?" rang in my ears. Every time I thought about her, I had the all too familiar nudge in my soul to do something. At this point, fear began to set in. "God", I reminded Him, "I am already a sponsor, remember? I already have Sulmi (my 4 year old sponsor child in Guatemala).  I want to pour everything I have into Sulmi- my love, my time, the little money You've blessed me with... LORD, I know this sounds ridiculous, but I almost feel like I don't have enough in me to stretch between the both of them.  I like being exclusive to sponsoring Sulmi and loving Guatemala. Isn't that enough?" Yes, I am now aware of how silly that sounds, but it was the honest cry of my heart.  I just honestly doubting I was equipped for this task.

That same day, I came to the part in Undaunted that talked about God calling Moses to speak against the Egyptians, which I had "coincidentally" just read in my bible the night before.  This passage can be found in Exodus 4. Christine talked about how in the story, God called Moses to speak; and Moses kept telling God he wasn't equipped to do so. He told God he didn't speak well enough. As Christine put it, "When Moses finally stopped making excuses and did as God told him to, God paved a way for him: through the middle of the red sea, across the dessert- providing food and water and clothing for forty years- all the way to the entrance of the Promised Land." Where God guides, He provides! The rest of the chapter talked about how most people reading it have been called by God to do something out of their comfort zone. It talked about how people often say "I don't have enough love, enough money, etc." do to what God calls them to do! Sound familiar?

Then I knew. God put Melania on my heart. He had provided everything I needed.  If He was truly leading this, He would fill me with the love and dedication I needed to do it.  There was really no reason for me to say no to this calling. Even after this revelation, it took another day for me to commit. However, on February 13, I couldn't resist the calling any more. With that being said, I would like to introduce you to my sponsor sister, Melania.

My purpose for writing this isn't to show you how great I am.  After all, I basically told the God of the universe that I didn't have enough room in my heart to love an additional person.  Listen, I am writing this to tell you how amazing my God is!  I am writing this to tell you to follow His lead. No matter how painful the road ahead may seem, He is leading you through it in order to bring you to somewhere greater. I am writing this to tell you that where God guides, He most certainly does provide. He calls us to minister to both the spiritual and physical needs of those around us. He doesn't want us to give somebody the chance to ask us, "Why didn't you come sooner?".   This is not a guilt trip and I am most certainly not telling you what to do. Child sponsorship is not for everyone. It may not be for you.  The point is, there is something God is calling you to do that seems too big, too hard, or too painful. There is something on your heart that has been there for way too long. Am I right? There is some sort of need you have been made painfully aware of and cannot ignore any longer.  That is why I am writing this. I want to tell you that on the other side of the fear and pain, there is this amazing place where, like Peter in the bible, you have stepped out of the boat and are walking by faith on the water (Matthew 14). Through this experience, I discovered that when God guides you to that uncomfortable place of walking on the water, His arms will be around you every step of the way- making it not so uncomfortable after all.

And you know what?  God has already multiplied my heart greater than I ever knew possible, and Melania fits just fine.  God had a purpose and a need in mind when He called me to sponsor Melania.  He saw a need in her, maybe even a prayer for help...and when He looked all over the world, He saw me as the one He would use to fill this role; not because of anything I've done on my own, but because of how He's equipped me.  He called me from a whole other country and is using me to fulfill a specific purpose in Melania's life that I may or may not ever know in full.  I can't wait to see what He has in store!